it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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