Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
