Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize