You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
