I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
