May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize