Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
