and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
