Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
