What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize