yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize