id be glad to
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She even gives head with a lisp.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
