i need an iv and a liver transplant
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!