No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
