Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?

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  (301): Is it necrophilia if we're both dead? http://tfl.nu/6pje
  Replies (6) Good night (845) Bad night (1155)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.

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  (330): She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning. http://tfl.nu/zuj3
  Replies (61) Good night (2286) Bad night (4523)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan

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  (773): They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan http://tfl.nu/hlq0
  Replies (24) Good night (1549) Bad night (3435)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face

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  (218): I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face http://tfl.nu/wyrl
  Replies (6) Good night (5223) Bad night (957)
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  (707): View more from California

  frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.

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  (707): frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it. http://tfl.nu/00co
  Replies (9) Good night (4432) Bad night (1259)
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  (315): View more from New York

  The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  .....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....

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  (315): The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar..... (507): .....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls.... http://tfl.nu/yj71
  Replies (5) Good night (948) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.

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  (216): Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left. http://tfl.nu/jvbq
  Replies (6) Good night (1673) Bad night (589)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.

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  (406): It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change. http://tfl.nu/cbid
  Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (555)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.

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  (240): The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off. (301): Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes. http://tfl.nu/qb2k
  Replies (3) Good night (1190) Bad night (397)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.

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  (706): I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons. http://tfl.nu/pd60
  Replies (4) Good night (1014) Bad night (433)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..

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  (704): All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar.. http://tfl.nu/zfs2
  Replies (5) Good night (876) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.

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  (334): He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird. http://tfl.nu/8c4b
  Replies (3) Good night (393) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  So this bar tattoo not looking that great now

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  (850): So this bar tattoo not looking that great now http://tfl.nu/4o0g
  Replies (6) Good night (353) Bad night (734)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??

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  (614): When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball?? http://tfl.nu/5g8j
  Replies (3) Good night (506) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...

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  (615): I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget (1-615): Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from... http://tfl.nu/z1jn
  Replies (2) Good night (547) Bad night (215)

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