Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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