Swine flu. Run for my life!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
