I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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