sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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