Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
