Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
