I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
