Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
