I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
