Yo dont text me then not text me
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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