god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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