JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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