I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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