Already got asked if we're dating
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
