just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
