Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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