i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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