Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize