do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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