Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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