There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
