This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
