every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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