Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize