there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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