Nicole vs. Life
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
