thus making me awesome and them whores
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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