Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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