Taylor Swift is so right about you.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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