His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
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i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.