There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.