i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize