yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
