Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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