"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
