he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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