I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
