Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
