so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
