I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
