sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
