Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
