oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
