Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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