I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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