Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
