I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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