I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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