dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
