How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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